Sunday, 15 June 2014

Quietly improving

It's good to be home again. From the sofa by the fire I enjoy watching the swans and scaups out on the lake, and with sun streaming in it is a good place to doze off. I still get tired, but I'm able to do a lot more. My throat has settled down, and I'm not coughing/spitting all the time. There's still a feeling like pins-and-needles in my tongue but at least it is moving around properly again so I can talk easily just like before. The new normal is a mouth without saliva, and that brings it's issues but I'm not complaining! It's easier to live with than the mucus. And that's enough detail - the point is I am feeling pretty good and getting out and about.

The reading feast is continuing, but I confess I gave up on the The Luminaries. I don't think I can blame chemo brain, much as I'd like to, I think I just found there wasn't enough reward to care enough to keep up with the complicated threads of the narrative.

Food is a funny thing. I lost my appetite completely. To maintain weight I need at least 5 bottles of the "Complete, Balanced Nutrition" that I get on prescription by the carton. I have found you can feel hungry without having any desire to eat. Hunger means time to pour another bottle down the tube (and try not to smell it, yuk). Now that I can swallow without pain I am starting to eat again, but I'm having to work hard at creating enthusiasm for food. The only thing I crave is a long drink of cool fresh water. I can only do a sip at a time and it is all flat and furry and just doesn't have the satisfaction factor any more. So next time you fill a glass at the tap and drain a glass of refreshing, quenching, lovely water, take a moment to be thankful and to enjoy it fully.

I'm enrolled on a nutrition workshop this weekend, so maybe I'll get some inspiration that will help with getting my appetite back again.

A recent evening walk by the lake at twilight

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