Back on track

I had my three-month PET scan a fortnight ago and have been trying hard to not think about the results. Yesterday I went back to to the big house on the hill in Hamilton for the first time since treatment finished. I had to wait nearly an hour before being called in to see Prof. Dr Vitz was there too. He said Your scan was clear. I must have looked like I was about to kiss him because the next thing he said (quickly) was, you didn't know? As if surprised that I was hearing this for the first time.

Prof poked around in my mouth to look down my throat and ran his fingers over my neck and pronounced me to be be just fine. Dr Vitz reminded me that recovery would probably continue for up to a year. But "No, your saliva won't come back. I told you that at the beginning", like, do these people just not listen? Well, we do, but we don't like what we hear and we hope that we will be different and that won't happen to us.

They agreed that my feeding tube could come out and someone went to get Jo who specialises in such jobs. This is probably the only time that a nearly 60 year old hears the words "You have a very taut stomach" and the response is dismay. Jo said, you'll have an oooh aaaah moment and it will be all over. Then she tugged on the tube. I went OOOOOH AAAAAAAAAAH! and she stopped. Before having another tug OOOOH AAAAAAAHHHH ****!!* I went. It's bleeding, she said. Hmmmm, she said. You must have strong stomach muscles, she said.

Damn those yoga classes! So now I have a booking with the gastroscropy unit for it to be removed from the inside. But that's OK - only a few more weeks and I'll be back into the hot pools. Nothing can dampen my spirits now that my prognosis is excellent and I can get my life back on track.

Maybe a holiday first? Somewhere where I can get plenty of soups and smoothies, because there is little else I eat with no saliva.

Winter walk

After days of alternately lashing and drizzling rain it was lovely to have some sun. So nice not to be cooped up indoors at work on a day like this. Here are some photos from my walk, along the Lake Okareka boardwalk. Lake Okareka is only a 10-minute drive from home.

Canadian geese, honking and grazing in the wetlands

Too nice a day not to just stop for a while and enjoy the sun. Beautiful benches for resting along the way.

Lovely rural scene, rich with the smell of the silage these beasts are enjoying.

Home stretch. It is so good to have some energy returning.

Out and about

Jo Hunt has just been appointed manager of the public library at Opotoki. Jo and I would have talked about this library when we worked together in Cairns - I hate to say it, that was at least 20 years ago. I dropped in for a visit last week. Her appointment has been a big item in the local news as you can see here. I'm hoping the challenges of her new job won't keep her from continuing to make a batch of tofu now and again, tofu being one of the things I can actually eat at the moment. And fresh tofu is a joy in itself as I have discovered when she has brought a batch over to Rotorua. Jo blogs about her tofu making over at http://tofujo.wordpress.com/.

The view that hits you when you come over the hill from Whakatane never ceases to delight. All along Ohope Beach and across the sea to the blue hills of East Cape (I have borrowed this photo).

Over lunch at the wonderful Two Fish Cafe, Jo showed me the plans for a major refurbishment of the library building. Major personal development too! I was able to eat almost all of a lovely spinach filo quiche, just like a real person. Not exactly vegan. But at the moment I need to eat what I can without going to extremes.

Afterwards I wandered down the road to the Opotoki Museum. Past the local theatre and Hiona-St Stephen's church...and a pair of kids riding bareback on a shaggy feisty horse.

 The Museum is a 3 storey building with lovely views from the top floor. It is run entirely by volunteers.

Green is good

I went to an event run by the Aratika Trust, a local organisation that supports people with a cancer diagnosis. The first day was for anyone wanting to improve health and the second day was about the importance of eating well when you have a cancer diagnosis. Local doctor Britte Noske made a convincing case for sticking to a plant-based, mostly raw diet in order to starve tumour cells of the energy they need.

The star of the nutrition weekend was Aleisha Wyllie, author of a cookbook called Life is Great. She describes herself as a passionate foodie who loves having fun in the kitchen transforming traditional recipes into healthy wholefood creations. A couple of the things we made and then ate for lunch

• felafel - made by blending together chickpeas, steamed kumara and undressed coleslaw with a dash of curry powder and garam masala
• broccoli cream - blitzed raw broccoli, avocado, red onion, celery, mushrooms and sprouts
• carrot cakes - made in food processor with all raw ingredients; carrot of course, with red pepper, turmeric, garlic, tahini, sprouts and sunflower seeds; squished into muffin moulds to make cakes
• quinoa salad - dressed with apple cider vinegar and flaxseed oil

I couldn't help picturing the faces of Eva and Annie if I turned up bearing "carrot cakes" and produced Aleisha's version. 

Each day we made a juice and also several different green smoothies. Aleisha showed us how easy it is to make our own sauerkraut. Sauerkraut packs all the nutrients and phytochemicals that make a cabbage a superfood and the fermentation process adds heaps of probiotics. 

In those two days I had more vegetables and fruit than I have had in total over the last three months, not that is saying much as I have been pretty much living on Ensure. Lots of things still hurt my throat, most things still taste bland and make my mouth go furry, and I just can't swallow anything dry; but I am getting more of an appetite. I have been making vegetable soups thickened with nut milks.

Can't say I don't wish I could still enjoy a ham toasted sandwich though. 

Quietly improving

It's good to be home again. From the sofa by the fire I enjoy watching the swans and scaups out on the lake, and with sun streaming in it is a good place to doze off. I still get tired, but I'm able to do a lot more. My throat has settled down, and I'm not coughing/spitting all the time. There's still a feeling like pins-and-needles in my tongue but at least it is moving around properly again so I can talk easily just like before. The new normal is a mouth without saliva, and that brings it's issues but I'm not complaining! It's easier to live with than the mucus. And that's enough detail - the point is I am feeling pretty good and getting out and about.

The reading feast is continuing, but I confess I gave up on the The Luminaries. I don't think I can blame chemo brain, much as I'd like to, I think I just found there wasn't enough reward to care enough to keep up with the complicated threads of the narrative.

Food is a funny thing. I lost my appetite completely. To maintain weight I need at least 5 bottles of the "Complete, Balanced Nutrition" that I get on prescription by the carton. I have found you can feel hungry without having any desire to eat. Hunger means time to pour another bottle down the tube (and try not to smell it, yuk). Now that I can swallow without pain I am starting to eat again, but I'm having to work hard at creating enthusiasm for food. The only thing I crave is a long drink of cool fresh water. I can only do a sip at a time and it is all flat and furry and just doesn't have the satisfaction factor any more. So next time you fill a glass at the tap and drain a glass of refreshing, quenching, lovely water, take a moment to be thankful and to enjoy it fully.

I'm enrolled on a nutrition workshop this weekend, so maybe I'll get some inspiration that will help with getting my appetite back again.

A recent evening walk by the lake at twilight

R&R, and R, and R and R and R....

Four weeks out, and there are signs of improvement. Apparently the radiation goes on working for up to six weeks, not sure if that is true, but hopefully any remaining cancer cells are continuing to die.

I am getting out and about but still fall asleep in the chair when I sit around for a while. The Buderim Barefoot Doctor has given me some traditional Chinese herbs, a dark and smelly concoction that I suspect is far easier to put down the tube than it would be to drink.

And I have retired, again. Who knows how long it will be before I am fit to go back to work, so it seemed only fair to resign from the Library, especially as Council is doing a big restructure this year. Time for me to focus on getting better, then who knows? Something completely different would be nice, and maybe somewhere completely different too, in time.

Meanwhile I am travelling through books. Iceland, Mumbai, New York, Las Vegas, London. You can probably guess a few of the titles. The Goldfinch - a wild read, wonderful. Shantaram - one I didn't find time for before I went to Mumbai though I did go to Leopold's and had read much about it. Burial Rites - and Hannah Kent was on TV yesterday talking at the Adelaide Writer's festival. Kate Atkinson's Life after Life. And now Deb has produced a copy of The Luminaries so I guess that's next.

Banana bender

Queensland again. Waking to a mad riff of kookaburra cacophony and the rattle of palm leaves. Rain that pours like a waterfall across the world. Cyclone reports take over the news.

Deb and John have given me a luxury guest bedroom and freedom to sleep as much as I want (today that means dozing on and off for most of the day).  They say it takes two weeks after radiotherapy finishes before you start to see signs of improvement. It is a week today and already I am sleeping better at night.

I'm reading Barbara Kingslover's Flight Behaviour. As much as it is the story of Dellarobia, an Appalachian farmer's wife with two small children and a head full of hopes and dreams, it is the story of the Monarch butterfly, known locally as King Billies. I want to turn my whole garden over to swan plants next summer.

I also read Fiona Kidman's latest novel which tells the story of Jean Batten, who was the first woman to fly from England to New Zealand. Both author and subject have connection to Rotorua and Dame Fiona used the Rotorua
Library heritage collections while researching Jean's life. The book, The Infinite Air, is well worth reading.

And for something completely different, I also recommend a book by Jennifer Dubois , A Partial History of Lost Causes. There is a good review in the NY Times here. Oprah called it a brainy book, which kind off damns it, but it has a great story line as well as intelligence, so that's ok. Irina's father dies of Huntington's and gene testing confirms that she has the same fate. Aleksandr is a Russian chess champion who is campaigning for the presidential election against Putin. Their lives are linked by a letter written by Irina's father and Irina goes to St Petersburg and becomes involved in the campaign.

I am using my tablet and not having much success with getting images or links into this post. Sorry.